note: this is crossposted all over livejournal like a rash. if you have ever kissed a girl and belong to a community even slightly-at-a-MOLECULAR-level-slightly reminiscient... sort of... of it, you will most likely see it there.
i'm sorry, babies :[
so hey, i'm alice (i always feel the need to introduce myself... hmm.), i'll be 18 in ten days(!!!!), and i live in rhode island. and i'm really, really, really fuckin gay. REALLY gay. haha. just throwing that out there. if one person asks for it (only because i won't plague you all with scrolls and verbal (well, textual) hieroglyphics on My Inner Self if none of you give a fuck) asks, i'll throw some "here's who i REALLY am" stuff. edited to be quaint and eccentric and intriguing in a sexy, carefree kind of way. obvi.
okay so enough people in my life have asked me to show photographical evidence of The Transformation I've Recently Undertaken so here we are.
i work at a restaurant that is pretty upscale, but no uniforms. so i have to LEGITIMATELY dress nicely EVERY SHIFT. it's hard, it really actually is.
i even tried to make the contrast not so stark, but, in restrospect, it kind of is.
is what i look like usually. frightening, huh? dude, i'm beyond dumpster chic. that's what they're calling mary-kate and ashley these days. i am dumpster not-so-chic. salvation army not "look at this cute vintage find!" but "holy shit if i shop in the little boys' section i can get 10 yrs.' worth of clothes for three cents!" i am a mess.
brave enough to handle more? (i promise i'm not that ALWAYS that crusty-looking! come find out.
posting it again, bit bigger (same as the rest) because if you clicked it, you want to see it, and i won't feel guilty slaughtering your friends pages. plus it gives you more detailed insight into just what a weirdo i am when it comes to appearing. GUH. luckily, they get slightly better.
next we have
there's the whole shebang. those pants are waaaay too long.
these are my earrings :] (i couldn't wear my bean necklace, a tiffany solid sterling silver PLAIN OLD KIDNEY BEAN that i am known for wearing and NEVER take off... but i usually can't wear it :[ it almost never matches the rest of my jewelry or looks right with the neckline of my shirt or something. when did i ever used to care about that? never is the answer. clash away, cap'n.)
this is what i do with my hair: nothing. it drip dries after i wash it, which is right before every shift. it's licked-a-sparkplug curly here, but wet. foreshadowing to later on, when my head becomes A Shrub.
closeup after my shift. dry. shrub ahoy. oh, i'm so seductive. how embarrassing. retch. this is what i look like OFFICIALLY when i'm not deceptively showered and thus hair-controlled and when my makeup looks a little more natural and lived-in. (also: eye emm uh reele hyoomin beeyin -- check out them gnawed-up nails. b.a.)
i may feign womanly seductive m0v35 like no othah, but i am still a fucking creep.
what a boogerhead.
CHECK THEM CURLS. they go hogwild on the underneath, thus making only-the-front-clipped-back-oh-so-in-mod
and, for good measure, here's one i took for clothilde, my bestbestbestbestbestbest friend in the GALAXY who just up and moved to france. yeah, i know.
we both have that shirt and it's a "thing" with us... like, we also have identical pairs of underwear, my half of which i happen to also be wearing in the photo, just because. we always wear them (shirt or undies) and think of each other and i just happened to be wearing patternlicious bike short-y spandexy bottoms and decided to kodak that moment and pop it off to france. *sniff*
sorry, you didn't ask for that. hahahahaha.
so that's me. i am a big girl and i have a big girl job and i dress up with other normal human beings and go to work at a fancy job!
what's new with you these days?
hope you're well.